SNOW

Our first day of skiing

I brush my boot on the front of my binding and inhale the crisp, dry and thin air around me. I’m out of shape. Shove the front of my boot into the front of my binding with more snow falling off my boots from the hike up. A firm shove of my heel down finds my boot fully snapped into my binding. Repeat with my left foot. A few hops up and down just to get my heart pumping again at this high altitude and a quick shove off to the lift. *I’m skiing.*

I love this ritual that I perform right before I ski. It’s a time to catch my breath after the ridiculously short but breathtakingly difficult hike to the hill (got to love altitude). It’s a time to prepare for the demands and challenges that I’ll ask of my body for that day. It’s a time for the adrenaline to ramp up and for me to mentally be ready to hurl myself down a mountain; be it a blue, black or double black run.

Driving home after our first day

We hop on the chair and suddenly I’m at the top of the mountain, overlooking the incredible surroundings that never cease to take my breath away: snow, trees, rocks and mountains for miles, as far as the eye can see and the tiny buildings at the bottom of the run. A deep breath, a surge of adrenaline and a small drop into the black that I call a warm up run and I’m timidly racing down the mountain to the goal of doing it all over again. A slight shift in weight, a flex of my lower abdominals, pressure of my shins against the front my boot, a pole plant and finally a slight stand and there’s one of the many turns I’ll do that day. *I’m skiing.* This season, with a knee brace.

Yup, that's me after a 2 hour nap, with a goggle tan, making cheese sauce. For the epic mac and cheese I made at our cabin. And it was EPIC.

Even with my love of skiing, this year has been incredibly disappointing. It’s hard not to be in the mountains and not be grumpy. I know I should be happy that I’m up in the beautiful Sierras and that I can afford to ski and enjoy the outdoors, but it’s so hard when I know just how amazing it really *could* be. I’ve been spoiled the previous 3 seasons. I heard on NPR this morning that we’re at about 30% of where we should be for this time of year. We’re already two-thirds of the way through our wettest months of the year (December – February) and it has barely snowed in the Sierras or rained in the Bay Area. I HOPE that February will change this disappointing and slightly scary statistic around, but it’s not looking good.

A bluebird day of skiing last weekend. Beautiful.

D & J on the chairlift

We’ve skied 3 days on snow. The first day, it wasn’t so fantastic. It was the first big storm, everyone was up, Kirkwood was having power issues (of course) and the lines were long. The two lines for the lifts we wanted to take were long. We skied a half day. Last weekend we spent both Saturday and Sunday on snow. Saturday was a longer day and Sunday a half day. It’s just boring to ski corduroy groomers all day. You cycle one lift and run and it’s fun, exhilarating, but tough when you spend more time on the lift than you do on snow. I crave powder. I crave fluffy double blacks that challenge me beyond my physical capabilities and mental stamina. Hope it comes soon…

R & myself on the chairlift

Ok, done complaining. I’m happy its winter and I’m happy to ski. Now, LET.IT.SNOW.

In other news, I’ve finally made the big decision about TCM. I’ve decided to not pursue a master’s degree. It’s a difficult decision. I’m saddened by this choice but I’m excited about my future. R and I have discussed some different options and I’ll wait to give details about that until I know more. All I know is that even though my job is picking up, things are busy, traffic on Monday and Tuesday has improved my commute home to 45 minutes instead of 60+ (I have no idea how this occurs), I’m working on some projects with high visibility (including an iPad app!), and I all I know is that I really need to move on.

I’ve discovered that this time in my life is really quite turbulent. Makes sense (see Saturn Returns). I’m reevaluating everything. My likes and dislikes. What a friend is to me, how I want relationship to be and how to distance myself from friendships that aren’t working. What to do about my career. What I want out of my life. And evaluating how to have a better outlook on being present in my daily life.

I had dinner with A last night. It was so wonderful to spend some time with her while our schedules are so busy, even if it only was 2 hours. We discussed my decision to not go to school, her graduate work, how our lives are so busy, and then she brought up this topic of Mindfulness Meditation. I need to research this more, but basically it sounds like the cycle is:

1. Stressor
2. React to stress
3. Cope with stress and reaction

The point, from my brief conversation with A, is to break the cycle between 1 and 2 to have a stressor in your life, be mindful of it, address it and move on without negatively reacting and coping. Hmm… sounds interesting. I’m just realizing that if I don’t stop wishing it were Friday, I’ll be 85, grumpy and wonder where the hell my life went. So I’m trying to be present. Enjoy every day. Even if its not the best day or even if it could be better.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. I don’t know how I could go throughout life without my closest friends and family. You know who you are. And I love you. Thank you for being apart of my life, helping me through life’s challenges and celebrating life’s wonders. You are truly amazing people and my life wouldn’t be what it is without you in it.

Lastly and excitingly, there are a lot of friends who are welcoming new babies into this world. I guess I’ve hit that age. My coworker P & J welcomed their son into the world at the start of January and our friends J & M gave birth to a son in December. Both adorable! I also found out today that a coworker and his wife are expecting in August, along with K & K who are due in March and one of my college friends from girls’ camping is due in July. So many babies!! No. I’m not drinking the water. I have a few continents to travel to before I dedicate my life to raising bambinos. Congrats to all of my friends however. I’m so happy for you!

***LET. IT. SNOW***


“in these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
and where you invest your love, you invest your life
awake my soul”
-Mumford & Sons, Awake My Soul