Strength

It took 5 1/2 days to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro - through altitude sickness and all. It was AMAZING. Taken in August 2011 on our honeymoon in Tanzania.

In my last post, I mentioned that it’s been a roller coaster of a few weeks. Sadly, this trend has continued into this week.

Life is tough. Sometimes I think I’m so weak - but then I remember that I have such amazing friends and family (and of course, the most supportive husband ever). Sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball and shut the world out. Or lose myself in a movie, bottle of wine or a workout. But that's not going to help much.

I think part of being strong is recognizing when you’re weak, when things are tough and realizing that reaching out for help when you need it makes you stronger. And wow, have I needed strength.

It’s funny how life brings a rash of patterns at times. The pattern that I’m going through right now is mortality. Heavy topic, I know. I mentioned in my last post that my niece was diagnosed with a brain tumor last week (not cancerous! yay!) and she starts radiation therapy next week. She has a 1% chance of a relapse. Incredible. The founder of the company that I work for passed away over the weekend at a wonderful age of 88. Last weekend, there were avalanches at Kirkwood and I faced the horrible thoughts of the worst. *Thankfully* only 1 person was injured and everyone else was just fine. After taking a Level 1 AIARE Avalanche safety course last year, I am extraordinarily paranoid about avalanche safety. I also learned this week that a marketing manager who so kindly shared Meyer lemons with me from his lemon tree was diagnosed with a brain tumor as well. It breaks my heart to say that he doesn’t share the same prognosis as my adorable little niece.

I don’t want to make this a sad post, just a reflective one. One to vent my anger and one to celebrate life and enjoy every moment. If anything, this struggle just solidifies my decision for a new direction in my life. I’ll probably share these directions in a month, I just have a few things to figure out and finalize.

A got me to sign up for a online food course through Beauty That Moves. I’ve been enjoying the class, but in reality already live and eat the way that Heather talks about each week. I’m so happy to support her, however, because I think that everyone should consider everything that she’s talking about. Her module this week, however, really hit me hard and has made me be more reflective than ever. Her module discussed a holistic approach to a happy and healthy life. I couldn’t agree more. It’s not enough just to eat well. You need to feed your body in other ways:

-Physically
-Spiritually
-Creatively
-Intellectually
-Healthy Relationships
-Meaningful work

I’m currently doing pretty ok in most of these areas except: spiritually, intellectually and meaningful work. This has taken quite a huge toll on me over the past few months. Take it seriously! Otherwise, I promise, it will bite you in the ass - take it from me! Spiritually, I need to meditate more and get into back into yoga (that yoga mat is my church), intellectually - well, let’s just say I have plans, and meaningful work - again, I’ve got plans. To my strengths: physically I enjoy exercise or just getting outdoors for a walk, creatively I love to cook and write this blog and I have great relationships and will start volunteering at 18 Reasons soon!

I’ve never thought about my health and vitality as much as I have in the past 3 months. I feel like this current module is the culmination - the peak - of reflecting on this.
To my friends and family - I love you guys. You are my rock. You’re appreciated and celebrated by me in so many ways that I could never express. I do my best to tell you how much I love you, care about you and want only the best for you - but if I forget to tell you, just know, ok? You bring me so much joy and happiness. My life would be so empty without each and everyone of you.

The other night I spoke with C from NYC and she was so adorable in saying "wow, it sounds like you're really listening to the universe!" Hahaha!! As corny as it is, it's so true.

With much love, gratitude, and happy thoughts to those in my life who need a little love in their life.


If ever there’s a need to watch the afternoon just roll into
The evening sky
Find comfort in the finer things that keep you close that keep you safe
Within this room

When it comes down to me
And I grit my teeth
And I start to stall
When it comes down to me
-”If Ever There’s a Reason” by Derby